i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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