I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
if only i could text you this smell
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
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