Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Randomize
