I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
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Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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