I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
I love having hate sex.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
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