Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
