I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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