I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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