I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
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