I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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