when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
