I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
Randomize
