In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize
