Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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