These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
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