can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
