I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
