If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
