You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Randomize
