i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Randomize
