One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize
