college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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