**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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