I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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