...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
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