I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
