Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
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I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
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No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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