Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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