So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Randomize
