i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
