i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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