he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
