the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
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