Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
