uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Randomize