If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize