The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
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