Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
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