Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
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I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
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What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
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