you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
