the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
