I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
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