How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
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