im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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