so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
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You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize