the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
