Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize
