I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Randomize