What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Randomize
