Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
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