Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
