If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Found the puke drawer
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
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