Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Sober January is a disaster.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Randomize
