So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
