cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Someone shattered a urinal.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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