i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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