So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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