You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
