what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
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Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
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I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
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