I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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