I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
