you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
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