I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
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I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
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What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
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