we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
