i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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