Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
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