I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
