youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
