Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
