ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
