He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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